until this cold ends, and the spring comes again, and until the flowers bloom again.

Wednesday, December 21, 2016

everyone keeps a few painful wounds buried in their heart.
if they can move on, it's great.
even if they can't, they still live.
they become numb to the pain with time.

you'll be fine too, soon.
tackle what's in front of you first, then just wait.
time will take care of everything.
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Friday, December 9, 2016

Jimin and his blindfold dance

Jimin danced together with J-Hope with a blindfold at MAMA 2016 which was like an extension to their music video. After their performance, some people responded "Eyy... He could have seen what's in front of him because it's a lace right? I mean if not, how could he dance? He had so many turns too."

But, this was posted on GOT7's Chinese fancafe, possibly from a Baidu Bar.


"Hello. I'm a fan of Got7 who attended this year's MAMA. I came here to compliment another group because I've seen many other fans praising other artists. I was in front of Jimin during BTS's intro stage. Jungkook appeared from the center? stage so I was just looking front because I couldn't really see him but suddenly two people appeared in front of me. One had a blindfold and the other member held his hand tightly and took him to his position and said something while holding his face firmly and he also ran to his own side of the stage. I realized later that these people were Jimin and J Hope. I knew it then that this team really gives trust and trusts one another."

As you can tell from the fanaccount, Jimin couldn't see what's in front of him, so he was helped by another member and you can also see that this blind fold is not a see through material and you can tell that he's closing his eyes.



In other words, it means that he was dancing only with his senses. You can understand how much effort he puts into his work. He didn't just wear blindfold to fool the audiences. I was surprised by the fact that he danced with a real pro like mind. Jimin is amazing and J-Hope is such a warm person. They turn together while looking at each other eyes. They perform on stage with faith.

This is BTS.
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Monday, December 5, 2016

one day, a mayfly said this to a moth drawn to flame. "you know that flame is a trap set by humans. it's not like you only live for a days as I do. why would you want to throw yourself at the flame knowing that you'll die?". the moth said, "the flame is too beautiful not to throw myself at. there's no beauty without pain."



would this road lead me to a fire pit? I'm a little scared, but I'll go down this road.
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Wednesday, October 26, 2016

sounds miserable, but I have to write this down.

every time I get sad, get hurt, I always remember you.
about how good you were.
how good you are.

wanting to text you "how are you? how's life?"
dying to talk to you about everything.
but don't have the courage to do so.

261016 18:08
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Thursday, October 6, 2016

he

he was cute
kind of artsy
he noticed these details about the world
and talked about them
in the way that no other guy would
he loves taking pictures
and pulling quotes out of nowhere
which I thought was pretty deep

and I really miss that guy

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Saturday, June 11, 2016

4:15am

tell me what you think of when you awake till 4 am in the morning!
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Tuesday, May 31, 2016

apa yang kau sebut paling keras dalam doamu?
mimpi yang kandas,
atau ia yang tak kembali?
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Wednesday, May 4, 2016

“I wish you’d find the exit out of my head.” 

-Sylvia Plath
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Friday, April 15, 2016

/

will never understand why I am attracted to sadness

surabaya, 15/04/16 06:37
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Thursday, April 14, 2016

140416

like the sugar I slip in my coffee
you dissolve into my thoughts
the strong smell still lingers
your perfume, like americano
brewed in memories of that night

it's almost been a year
too soon to realize
the fool I was last eve
never will I understand
the mechanics of your mind

I miss you
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Wednesday, April 13, 2016

one day

one day she began talking to him again.
after seven long years of silence, there it was, her voice on the other end of the phone, soft and lilting.
she had one of those voices that reminded him of a wormhole.
the power it possessed to close all that time and distance between them, the way it brought her back to him---tenuous and shimmering---like a dewdrop catching the sun.

Lang Leav
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Tuesday, April 12, 2016

letting go

the hard part is
pretending not to give a fuck
when you really do.

the worst part is
trying to close your heart
when its doors have been blown to pieces.

Robert M. Drake
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Monday, April 4, 2016

setia dalam perkara kecil

16:10 "Barangsiapa setia dalam perkara perkara kecil, ia setia juga dalam perkara-perkara besar. Dan barangsiapa tidak benar dalam perkara-perkara kecil, ia tidak benar juga dalam perkara-perkara besar.

16:11 Jadi, jikalau kamu tidak setia dalam hal Mamon yang tidak jujur, siapakah yang akan mempercayakan kepadamu harta yang sesungguhnya?

16:12 Dan jikalau kamu tidak setia dalam harta orang lain, siapaka yang akan menyerahkan hartamu sendiri kepadamu?

16:13 Seorang hamba tidak dapat mengabdi kepada dua tuan. Karena jika demikian ia akan membenci yang seorang dan mengasihi yang lain, atau ia akan setia kepada yang seorang dan tidak mengindahkan yang lain. Kamu tidak dapat mengabdi kepada Allah dan kepada Mamon.
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Saturday, April 2, 2016

don't

don't break a bird's wings and then tell it to fly
don't break a heart and then tell it to love
don't break a soul and then tell it to be happy
don't see the worst in a person and expect them to see the best in you
don't judge people and expect them to stand by your side
don't play with fire and expect to stay perfectly safe

life is about giving and taking
you can't expect to give good and receive bad
does it happen? absolutely yes
but don't make that an excuse for you to keep doing what you know is wrong
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Sunday, January 31, 2016

dingin

"Kapan se kamu nyetel hatimu hangat lg?"
.....
.....
.....
.....
.....
.....
"sedingin iku ta aku?"
"Iya. Kamu kaya ac kehilangan remotnya."

because I don't wanna waste my sunsets with people that will be gone by sunrise.
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Sunday, January 24, 2016

her


beberapa hari ini aku menghabiskan waktu dengan menghabiskan stok filmku. dan film yang kali ini terpilih untuk dibahas adalah HER.

film ini bercerita tentang pemeran utama pria introvert bernama Theodore Twombly (Joaquin Phoenix) yang bekerja sebagai penulis surat. yap, penulis surat. jadi pelanggannya adalah mereka-mereka yang mungkin tak punya waktu atau tak pandai merajut kata untuk sekedar menulis surat atau ucapan. Theodore sedang mengurus perceraiannya dengan isterinya Catherine (Rooney Mara), tapi sebenarnya mereka sudah berpisah sejak lama. dalam pekerjaannya Theodore dibantu oleh OS (operating system) berkemampuan tinggi dalam banyak hal diantaranya membaca email, membalas email, mengatur jadwal dan sebagainya.

pada suatu hari Theodore membeli OS terbaru yang lebih canggih serta suara OSnya dapat dipilih antara laki-laki atau perempuan. Theodore memilih suara perempuan. ternyata OS tersebut memiliki nama, Samantha (Scarlett Johansson). Samantha membantu Theodore dalam banyak hal, mulai dari urusan pekerja hingga menjadi teman bicara.
sepanjang 126 menit tidak banyak scene yang menarik, hanya didominasi oleh kegiatan Theodore dengan percakapannya bersama Samantha. hingga suatu saat Theodore merasa jatuh cinta pada Samantha. film ini terasa sangat absurd. bagaimana bisa seseorang mencintai sesuatu yang tidak nyata seperti OS. bisa dikatakan bahwa film ini juga memberikan sedikit sindiran pada kehidupan gila teknologi di masa kini. namun sebenarnya memang sulit untuk tidak jatuh cinta pada suara Samantha yang begitu kuat, enerjik, menyenangkan dan seksi. dan merekapun berpacaran. are you fucking kidding me? sebegitu desperate kah sehingga memilih OS untuk dijadikan kekasih dibandingkan manusia yang lebih real, bisa dilihat, bisa dipeluk, bisa....... dirasakan keberadaannya. dan sepanjang sisa film berlangsung aku hanya bisa merutuki keputusan Theodore untuk berpacaran dengan OS dan berdoa semoga dia cepat menyadari kesalahannya. tapi pada titik tersebut aku merasa akulah yang bodoh dan terlalu berlebihan padahal itu hanya sebuah cerita di film hahahaha.

dan dalam masa berpacaran tersebut, awalnya terasa begitu indah, yeah namanya juga sedang kasmaran. dunia serasa milik berdua. tapi siklus kehidupan kan gak semuanya indah, tak selamanya mudah. Theodore mulai menyadari begitu banyak perbedaan pada dirinya dan Samantha yang notabene sebuah OS dengan kecanggihan luar binasa sehingga kadang Theodore tidak bisa mengimbangi kemampuan Samantha. selain itu juga Theodore mengetahui bahwa Samantha tidak hanya dapat berbicara dengan Theodore, tetapi dengan ribuan pengguna lainnya pada saat yang sama. tidak hanya itu, Samantha juga jatuh cinta kepada lebih dari 600 pengguna lain. hal tersebut mematahkan hati Theodore. yaa manusia diduakan aja patah hati apalagi dienamratuskan. lah kan mending balikan aja sama Catherine. hingga hubungan mereka meretak dan membuat mereka officially putus kemudian Theodore menjual OSnya. Theodore kembali hidup normal dengan OS jadul yang sesungguhnya lebih aman daripada OS Samantha yang bisa membuatmu jatuh cinta.

tapi sebenarnya ada beberapa hal yang bisa dipelajari dari film ini.
"it does make me sad that you can't handle real emotion"
-Catherine
seberapa buruk atau mengerikannya apa yang sudah kita lewati, cobalah untuk berpikir realistis dan tetap dalam penguasaan diri yang baik.

kehadiran Samantha dalam hidup Theodore menjanjikan banyak hal seperti, perhatian, cinta, dan koneksi batiniah. sebenarnya pesan cina yang ingin disampaikan oleh sang sutradara (Spike Jonze) cukup dalam, bahwa cinta tidak terbatas hanya pada hubungan sesama manusia. cinta itu universal, tidak memandang hanya dari aturan-aturan semu yang dibuat oleh manusia.

film ini mungkin bisa menjadi cerminan keadaan di masa mendatang dimana manusi cenderung mencintai gadgetnya dibandingkan enggan berinteraksi langsung dengan sesamanya manusia. dan aku juga sedikit takut pada jomblo-jomblo desperate yang akan berpindah haluan untuk mecintai sesuatu yang tidak nyata seperti Theodore mencintai OSnya, Samantha.

"the heart's not like a box that gets filled up, it expands in size the more you love" -Samantha
nah kalimat ini adalah kalimat yang paling kuingat sepanjang film ini hehehe. your heart will expand the more you love. so keep loving each other!

for those who know me, you know that when I fall, I fall fast and I fall hard
. berulang kali aku mengatakan hal ini. dan dari film ini aku bisa melihat diriku yang notabene gampang jatuh hanya dengan mendengar suara yang menurutku "enak". tapi amit-amit lah ya jangan sampai jatuh cinta macem Theodore ini. di luar sana kayaknya masih banyak laki-laki normal yang bisa dicintai.
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