until this cold ends, and the spring comes again, and until the flowers bloom again.

Thursday, March 29, 2018

orang-orang pulang ke rumah saat mereka ingin menangis tanpa alasan.

mereka menyadarinya setelah menahan airmata mereka.

bahwa tidak ada airmata yang menetes tanpa alasan.
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Monday, March 26, 2018

somebody says there is a miracle, and another says there isn't.
but at the end, at the desperate moment, anyone prays for a miracle, and waits for a miracle.
that's why a miracle should exist.
so that a slight hope at least can be given, at every desperate moment, a miracle must exist.

but miracles are miracles because they're not common.
rather than luck that you didn't anticipate, there's much more misfortune that you couldn't even think of in this world.
life, to believing in only miracles is cold and harsh.

in the end, miracles are a matter of the probability.
miracles exist only for one person.
for the remaining 9,999 people, it's merely nonsense.
life is, in all and overwhelming probability, cruel.

still, stiil, we need miracles.
rather than despair that has zero percent probability, a possibility that could happen once in 100,000; a silver of possibility is still better.
only then do we have hope.
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Thursday, March 22, 2018

it's above the water that I feel like I'm drowning.
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Saturday, March 17, 2018

will there be a next time? even if it’s not in this life? will there be a next time? is it possible? even if I can’t ever see you again will I be able to let go? will I?
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Wednesday, March 14, 2018

aku tidak seharusnya pergi
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Tuesday, March 13, 2018

bidok

I'm missing my Bidok so much, last night I saw her in my dream, and today is her birthday.
how are you Dok? hope things will go well as you wish.

she's my deskmate for 3 years on my highschool days, my support system, when life's get hard she's always there. and I'm wishing you here right now because I miss you much huhuhuu
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Friday, March 9, 2018

it's less crowded than yesterday so I feel lonelier.
why am I walking alone without you whom I love so much?
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Wednesday, March 7, 2018

"I'm feeling such excitement that I have his attention, that he's all mine, that he's listening to me talking about something I really like, that nobody else can steal his attention away. all aches and pains are gone. it's the best moment I've ever spent with him in my whole life."
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Monday, March 5, 2018

secret

here's the secret that nobody knows,
I wander around the dim stars to reach out to your heart.
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